::mending the broken pieces of my life::

at one point i just dunt understand myself. i’ve not been into any serious relationship for quite some years and i’ve been wondering why…

sometimes tu, theres a lil of jealousy at the very corner of my heart when i look at some sweet couples..hehe..ye r, being a single, everything is all about u,urself and loneliness.(ceyh~~)..

kdg2 tu trase r ,nk g makan pon,mkn sorang2, henset pon senyap jek 2-3 hr, tu pon klu my dad x call,batt habis pon x sdar…sng cite, simpan dlm drawer pon x per. when it comes to special occasion, u dunno who to bring with,and part yg plg trase is  at times of ssh ke,sng ke, u dunno to share with who kan..last2 u tulis dlm blog like wut i did now..hahah…and when ur frens talking about their awek kan and their fairytale stories, the only thing u can do is angguk2, senyum2 and at some point interrupt sket to say some nice things like…"waa,sweetnye korang"…[-_-"]…pathetic isnt it?…

last week, my housemate issued a statement that i kinda menyampah gak r mendengar nya…he said:

"shitok,mke ko x de awek,ak brani potong jari la wey"…

mmm, it gives me an impression that, ppl nowadays are loser klu x de awek. and at the same time, its like ppl are creating a world that everyone must have a partner…uhuk2!!

my frens used to say some nice things to me like " shitok, ko ni memilih sgt la"…"ko usaha x kuat ni"…or " ko main2 la shitok, cuba siyes sket, br pompuan sangkut"…or "ko cpt ske pompuan" errmmm…i guess

ur

points will be easier taken by me klu u ppl ckp…"shitok, ko x hensem la sbb tu ko x de awek.."or ko x macho sgt la, x mcm kte org"..or lg sng " ko loser la"…hahah..eyp guys korang dh ade awek sng la ckp. korang hensem sng la dpt awek. no girls pon sangkut dkt ak, n klu ade pon mesti that girl pon desperate nak ade bf so they have no many choice in hands lah kan…x pon klu ak tersangkut kat any girls, either that girl dh ade balak or she is too good to be my partner…

hey~~

here, listen to my CONFESSION ppl..yes , i am single an available.not because m too selective or something,( the fact that kene reject sbb x hensem tu btolla la kot)  but i guess m not the kind that desperate nak ade partner (mb sbb tkt x kawen kot) that i just simply pick any one by the street and kapel!!..no~~somemore, nak msg more than 2 hours already bored me to death, m lost in my own words, and now u expect me to msg2 one particular girl 24/7. gimme a break…i love to do things on my own, sharing everything is not my style and i hate ppl instructing me to do this or that, telling me wut is good or wrong, or restraining me to do anything that i want at any time that i desire. i guess i m just not ready for any commitment yet.

i know later , half of

ur

life will be spent with one particular someone. so y not now, sementara msh boley, we spend the best of our time enjoying the life of being single to the fullest.mm..but i believe everyone has their own view about this. but being single isnt a sin and no one shud be intimidated by the fact that he/she is single.plus, the feeling of admiring someone dlm diam2 adalah sgt2 interesting.after all, i survive je so far…y cant u?…hahaha

lu pk la sendiri!!…

i am extremely,deeply,madly, really like her……..

I wasn’t fancied by many teachers when I was in a high school. pardon me to say this, but it’s the price you have to pay when u were a hottie in school la

kan

…ermm…jealousy I’d rather classified it…hahahah..[-_-“]..(ok fine,it was only a lame joke ok!!).

neway forget that, it’s pretty difficult to survive when every wardens’ eyes were looking at you suspiciously, annoying  enough to make you feel like screaming at them and say..

“oi puad, pa masalah ko ngan ak?"

I was quite a rebel back then..

But nevertheless the annoying wardens and a bunch of so called they-think-they-always-right teachers, (I’m dying to mention some names…haha), I still have few teachers that I valued the most until these days. the only teachers that will never judge the students by listening to people’s stories and accept them for what they are, not their discipline records or how many A’s they’ve got in the bag.

Among all, the best for me is always the love-rabiah. To describe how dedicated she is towards the students is never something that I can potray in a form of words. Her willingness to look after my batch despite the negative feedbacks and discouragement from other teachers was something amazing that only she can do. By the way, during my time, my batch has been labeled the worst batch in the history of the mankind-according to that bahtiar la..=D ( yes, I exaggerate a bit), but who geez what they said about us. Lol~~~we were happy okay!!..

Mdm Kayz as the name suggest, was the inspiration to me. When all my report card was full with red marks, she came to the aid. Working on a ‘bebal’ brain like me, not many can do..hehe…its a work of art u know. I was her masterpiece. (walaupun still gak bebal), and she was my protector as well. Believing in me without any doubt and dare to fight for me in the staff room, was an act of nobel…ceywahhhhhh~~~~…haha…since when I labeled myself as a nobel thing. Hahah…but I’m worth fighting for dow!!.=p…ask Najib.

So on this very special occasion, I just wanna wish both of them a very happy teachers’ day. I’m not good with words, but I guess my prayer will always be with them…=)…HAPPY TEACHERS’ DAY…

amazing is just an understatement to describe her,

with her poise and beauty, ordinary man will just melt,

her voice keeps me breathing,

her eyes filled with love,giving me strength

her kiss eliminates years of pain…

i love her not only because how good she listens to my endless stories,

and also not because how calm she is when i am not,

but because of infinite more reasons which writing in a blog wouldnt do the justice for her…

i love her dearly for no particular reasons…and the feeling is getting stronger each days…

that there will be not a day in my life the feeling will fade…

i thank god for choosing me to be part of her life..

and i thank her, my mom for showering me with endless love and having me as her son….

-luv-

nazrin

a tribute to Mdm Suhidah bt Paidar, a mother to Nazrin,Hafiz and Fatin, and the wife of Mr Zainalabidin…

god bless you~~~..=)..i know eventually u will read this…

ahoy~~

life has been tremendously busy lately.

i’m in the middle of my final examination.i’m going mental by the end of this torturing experience.

life seems not happy, i am focusing so much on my studies these days, so they come out with ‘feeling’ matters, so that i dont have enough hands to handle my own things. i am mentally distraught,physically drained..T_T

if only i can tell lil kids out there, or my own child in the future..dun ever think of getting into university…its gradually killing u inside out.

but no matter what, life has never been kind.and i’m bearing with it till the end..u dare me life?

lately also, i’ve been watching many clips of political issues. its turning me off to see our reps on the parlimen acting like a brainless child..cursing vulgar language, debating over lil small matters when bigger issues are being deliberately ignored.

tell me, what is more important between the issue of raising ur hand during the angkat sumpah or the issue of kekurangan mknn in the market. and to add to my amusement, didnt Malaysia now is doing ‘pertanian’ instead of ‘perindustrian’ as the new NEP?how come bley lack of food?….no wonder la the political scenario in malaysia is getting ill. i’m not surprise if anuar is ruling the country one day, and i am more than happy to have him (though i’m not pro pembangkang) as the leader for his charisma and his brain. as the rakyat, we will opt for leaders that can reassure us of the good future of the country, and nowadays it seems like we are lacking in that in our current leaders. if this continue to happen, dont be surprised if i will be the kuching YB one day. or my cousin pon bley. then i will have my whole family la in the hall and of course my friends also can be part of the parlimen….

but still,4 papers to go….-_-"

tomorrow got 2 test, n ak x study even a bit.. pale pening..T_T

got 3 projects to submit esok..bridge presentation, (mcm cnfirm fail je deflection)…..and another just newly discovered assignment…T___T

i am broke…duit elaun dh guna beli tiket blk..mkn maggi laaa dis month..T_____T

and….for god sake…i miss her..miss her even much more tyme dgr dis one song….T_________T

When I woke up this morning, I have this odd feeling. Someone’s face terbayang2 before my eyes..or in my head.wutever.  It has been like quite a time when I last having this weird phenomenon. And suddenly I sense my heart thumping heavily when I listen to her name.gross..gross…gross…

I know I am having a real crush on someone and again this time the girl is dating some other very fine, good looking guy. Pardon me for cursing but damn it you are charming enough to make me smile like a silly guy in the middle of the night.. Really need to get my head out of my butt. It starts to drive me crazy…-_-“

And weird enough, again this time I only realize I have a thing on her when I’ve known her for quite some times. Some more, provided that I have great knowledge on how great their relationship works, still I fall for her

..adoyai~~

I’ve learnt splendid lesson years ago for having a feeling with her-guy-property and I really had my time. Miserable. ..

I recall few years back, I had a feeling for this awesome girl I met during my matriculation days. We were good friend. I listened to her story and she listened to mine. That was how things work back then. But when I was just about to pack my things and went back home end of the semester, I just realized I had a crush on her. And there I go, having a totally undefined holiday of my life. Missing her like hell when I knew we will never be together. I never confess. And I moved on after some months……loser wasn’t it?..T_T

This time again, I sense something ‘huge’ is about to happen..

And this time I need to set ground rules for myself (this is pretty much Barney’s influence). I guess I always have a good taste with in-relationship woman..

First rule; never set an eye on other guy’s property. Second, none. And that is it.

Btw, I know for sure, Najib is having his good time reading this. Its fine….but I’ll never going to spill the dirt to anyone even if your name is Najib or Apeng…so don’t ask…

Please2 this feeling go away. I’m awesome enough to be Barney, an attractive single young guy who can flirt with anyone without a slight of feeling involved. (Its fine to be cocky sometimes..=p).

I’m miserable,I’m miserable….T_T

Xoxo

-nazrin-

i kno this song has been like ‘bersawang’ in Ahmad’s mp3 list…but i baru dgr dis song for like 5 mins ago, n i fell in love immediately after that…very catchy,very melancholy…n the important part is, the lyric hits me in the face..best wooo..lyn la cepat~~

Last To Know
by Nidji

every single time
i see you in the street as you walk by
the shuffle in your feet as if to say you’d rather die

then live so far from home
i wonder is that why you so alone
and if you found a place to call your own then you’ll be fine

and you tell me that something could about to happen soon
and meanwhile you just wait inside your room

till you find its odd
but you are not as strong as you once thought
and even if you run you might get caught
so you won’t go and you’ll be the last to know

btw, all nidji’s song sume awesome…u shud try n listen…

n tomorrow nodee.wordpress is coming to town…cant wait….=)

wuhuu pun dis week..hujan n couple will be there…jom gigging!!!…

-shitok-

        Some said, “life is a long journey, choose the right path and you will come to the desired end”. Others said, ‘life is too short, so live life to the fullest”. Many know exactly what they want in life.

Ironically, I am 21, yet I don’t know what I long in life. I’m lost in the middle of the journey, yet somehow, I don’t know how to get back to the starting line; or maybe its just me that refuse to return to the turning point. I used to be the not-so-complicated-boy –next-door who once has set his eyes upon the finishing line. i knew what I wanted in life, I knew exactly what were my strengths, and most importantly I have pride in my own self.

In the past, I too have lost once. but somewhere along the line, I met few wonderful ppl that to these days I value the most. They pulled me back together; giving me strength to undo some mistakes that I’ve made n gave me some spaces in their live. So I fitted in…

But these years, I lost again. Not to mention how many times literally I fell to the ground. I’ve lost the soul to continue this journey. To me it’s a damn cold long journey and I don’t even see how soon or where it will end. So it freaks me to the hell. I did look where all this hell things have gone wrong. But I cudnt find the exact answer.let alone putting it back together.

Was it because, along the way, I’m losing all the wonderful ppl that I used to have once?

Was it because the search of my own self has not come to its end?

Or was it because, me myself is just a pathetic loser…

So, I just let it be…

I used to believe in the soul of friendship

I used to believe in every cloud has its silver lining

I used to believe in efforts and success

And I used to believe in love and happy ending

But today, I don’t.

Don’t ask me why, because I do not have the answer

However, I hope those feelings that I have in the past, will come back again some days………

its 11 in the morning, n i’ve just woke up from my long,nice comfy sleep in the arms of my honey…(oppss,the last part was only my wild imagination,uwauwuawu.. sorry ustaz ~~..hehe)..

dis morning m quite taken aback of my own lackness of kesedaran since it has been like few weeks i have skipped my 8 o’clock class…

x phm la y my eyes susah sgt nak bkk time2 pg yg gelap, (kini sudah terang, ak adik mu, dan engkau abg—> uish my fav song ni, even b4 dis grup femes cam gempak kat local scene, i dh pnh dgr dah dis song…bangga la siot..thnx to my rumet for always introducing me with indie2 band yg bakal2 gempak)…err back to my point la..

i just cant help from closing back my eyes though my alarm was screaming like  pompuan-nak-beranak…or pontianak-nak-berak…ey..ryhme la those 2 sentences kan…x ksh la..both will do…n after a few times of snoozing, my hand will slowly hit the stop button n there he goes, sleeping happily ever after lps tu…everyday also like that, m quite lethargic la with this feeling of guiltiness..but somehow, esok buat lgi..after that, nyesal lagi..than buat lagi….and up to this peak point, m so used to the guiltiness feeling, so i just let go la…just follow the flow,bak kata org tua2 kan…

last nyte, sambil2 doing my assignment, i, due to kebuhsanan yg tahap moksya,  terdownload AF concert yg plg latest…since ppl always keep talking about it, and among the rumors are ;got old-nearly-dead lady la, big sis of the so called our great singer of the centuryla, anuar zain wannabe la…so due to my high curiousity n of coz sbb nak on par with the others…i donload la…and the result of my so called high curiosity, i ended up watching a bunch of wannabe singers that i tot the level of their singing is sgt2 worst compare to the previous AF…gosh..it was so gross watching them (with all the drama thingy)…i just cannot keep myself from swearing and cursing..sorrila ppl…its the evil part of me yg kluar if i see sumthing unpleasant..x like i wanna curse u ppl…hahah..normally my evil part always tell the truth…plss laa..plsssla….giv us sumthing that worth voting for..(x like m gonna vote anyway, i remember the first and the last i wasted my 50cents worth sms for this kind of show, i was voting for Marsha…tu pon sbb my lil sis fancy her, n now where she stands in the industry)..see, wut a waste kan…

dis few days, m kinda tired jaga hati org…so iwanna have a blissful rest this weekend..starting mlm ni la..esok i dh consider weekend since only got one class left…mcm nak cuti je..ngehngehngeh…

dis few days to come, m looking forward on some upcoming "events"..i guess that wud give me some lights to my dulllife in this desert like place…plus,anyone that havent give my besday present, pls do so, sbb this month pon dh nak abis……..

ppl, i really need my motif hidup back…n my life has been so dull since then…