::mending the broken pieces of my life::

When I woke up this morning, I have this odd feeling. Someone’s face terbayang2 before my eyes..or in my head.wutever.  It has been like quite a time when I last having this weird phenomenon. And suddenly I sense my heart thumping heavily when I listen to her name.gross..gross…gross…

I know I am having a real crush on someone and again this time the girl is dating some other very fine, good looking guy. Pardon me for cursing but damn it you are charming enough to make me smile like a silly guy in the middle of the night.. Really need to get my head out of my butt. It starts to drive me crazy…-_-“

And weird enough, again this time I only realize I have a thing on her when I’ve known her for quite some times. Some more, provided that I have great knowledge on how great their relationship works, still I fall for her

..adoyai~~

I’ve learnt splendid lesson years ago for having a feeling with her-guy-property and I really had my time. Miserable. ..

I recall few years back, I had a feeling for this awesome girl I met during my matriculation days. We were good friend. I listened to her story and she listened to mine. That was how things work back then. But when I was just about to pack my things and went back home end of the semester, I just realized I had a crush on her. And there I go, having a totally undefined holiday of my life. Missing her like hell when I knew we will never be together. I never confess. And I moved on after some months……loser wasn’t it?..T_T

This time again, I sense something ‘huge’ is about to happen..

And this time I need to set ground rules for myself (this is pretty much Barney’s influence). I guess I always have a good taste with in-relationship woman..

First rule; never set an eye on other guy’s property. Second, none. And that is it.

Btw, I know for sure, Najib is having his good time reading this. Its fine….but I’ll never going to spill the dirt to anyone even if your name is Najib or Apeng…so don’t ask…

Please2 this feeling go away. I’m awesome enough to be Barney, an attractive single young guy who can flirt with anyone without a slight of feeling involved. (Its fine to be cocky sometimes..=p).

I’m miserable,I’m miserable….T_T

Xoxo

-nazrin-

i kno this song has been like ‘bersawang’ in Ahmad’s mp3 list…but i baru dgr dis song for like 5 mins ago, n i fell in love immediately after that…very catchy,very melancholy…n the important part is, the lyric hits me in the face..best wooo..lyn la cepat~~

Last To Know
by Nidji

every single time
i see you in the street as you walk by
the shuffle in your feet as if to say you’d rather die

then live so far from home
i wonder is that why you so alone
and if you found a place to call your own then you’ll be fine

and you tell me that something could about to happen soon
and meanwhile you just wait inside your room

till you find its odd
but you are not as strong as you once thought
and even if you run you might get caught
so you won’t go and you’ll be the last to know

btw, all nidji’s song sume awesome…u shud try n listen…

n tomorrow nodee.wordpress is coming to town…cant wait….=)

wuhuu pun dis week..hujan n couple will be there…jom gigging!!!…

-shitok-

        Some said, “life is a long journey, choose the right path and you will come to the desired end”. Others said, ‘life is too short, so live life to the fullest”. Many know exactly what they want in life.

Ironically, I am 21, yet I don’t know what I long in life. I’m lost in the middle of the journey, yet somehow, I don’t know how to get back to the starting line; or maybe its just me that refuse to return to the turning point. I used to be the not-so-complicated-boy –next-door who once has set his eyes upon the finishing line. i knew what I wanted in life, I knew exactly what were my strengths, and most importantly I have pride in my own self.

In the past, I too have lost once. but somewhere along the line, I met few wonderful ppl that to these days I value the most. They pulled me back together; giving me strength to undo some mistakes that I’ve made n gave me some spaces in their live. So I fitted in…

But these years, I lost again. Not to mention how many times literally I fell to the ground. I’ve lost the soul to continue this journey. To me it’s a damn cold long journey and I don’t even see how soon or where it will end. So it freaks me to the hell. I did look where all this hell things have gone wrong. But I cudnt find the exact answer.let alone putting it back together.

Was it because, along the way, I’m losing all the wonderful ppl that I used to have once?

Was it because the search of my own self has not come to its end?

Or was it because, me myself is just a pathetic loser…

So, I just let it be…

I used to believe in the soul of friendship

I used to believe in every cloud has its silver lining

I used to believe in efforts and success

And I used to believe in love and happy ending

But today, I don’t.

Don’t ask me why, because I do not have the answer

However, I hope those feelings that I have in the past, will come back again some days………

its 11 in the morning, n i’ve just woke up from my long,nice comfy sleep in the arms of my honey…(oppss,the last part was only my wild imagination,uwauwuawu.. sorry ustaz ~~..hehe)..

dis morning m quite taken aback of my own lackness of kesedaran since it has been like few weeks i have skipped my 8 o’clock class…

x phm la y my eyes susah sgt nak bkk time2 pg yg gelap, (kini sudah terang, ak adik mu, dan engkau abg—> uish my fav song ni, even b4 dis grup femes cam gempak kat local scene, i dh pnh dgr dah dis song…bangga la siot..thnx to my rumet for always introducing me with indie2 band yg bakal2 gempak)…err back to my point la..

i just cant help from closing back my eyes though my alarm was screaming like  pompuan-nak-beranak…or pontianak-nak-berak…ey..ryhme la those 2 sentences kan…x ksh la..both will do…n after a few times of snoozing, my hand will slowly hit the stop button n there he goes, sleeping happily ever after lps tu…everyday also like that, m quite lethargic la with this feeling of guiltiness..but somehow, esok buat lgi..after that, nyesal lagi..than buat lagi….and up to this peak point, m so used to the guiltiness feeling, so i just let go la…just follow the flow,bak kata org tua2 kan…

last nyte, sambil2 doing my assignment, i, due to kebuhsanan yg tahap moksya,  terdownload AF concert yg plg latest…since ppl always keep talking about it, and among the rumors are ;got old-nearly-dead lady la, big sis of the so called our great singer of the centuryla, anuar zain wannabe la…so due to my high curiousity n of coz sbb nak on par with the others…i donload la…and the result of my so called high curiosity, i ended up watching a bunch of wannabe singers that i tot the level of their singing is sgt2 worst compare to the previous AF…gosh..it was so gross watching them (with all the drama thingy)…i just cannot keep myself from swearing and cursing..sorrila ppl…its the evil part of me yg kluar if i see sumthing unpleasant..x like i wanna curse u ppl…hahah..normally my evil part always tell the truth…plss laa..plsssla….giv us sumthing that worth voting for..(x like m gonna vote anyway, i remember the first and the last i wasted my 50cents worth sms for this kind of show, i was voting for Marsha…tu pon sbb my lil sis fancy her, n now where she stands in the industry)..see, wut a waste kan…

dis few days, m kinda tired jaga hati org…so iwanna have a blissful rest this weekend..starting mlm ni la..esok i dh consider weekend since only got one class left…mcm nak cuti je..ngehngehngeh…

dis few days to come, m looking forward on some upcoming "events"..i guess that wud give me some lights to my dulllife in this desert like place…plus,anyone that havent give my besday present, pls do so, sbb this month pon dh nak abis……..

ppl, i really need my motif hidup back…n my life has been so dull since then…

td i g klinik n cek berat….n…

i was damn shocked..

my current berat is 59…n last tyme it was 65….6 kilos in not even a month…gile kentang~~